the biggest thing is my friend miriam got engaged...miriam is one of my best friends, yes i have 2 best friends it's a co-best friend position in shannaland (ur so jealous i can feel it :P) anyhoo she's engaged to our friend michael aka Leelu, he says he hates that name but he's being facetious. just for reference suzanne is my other best friend, i've known her since i was in 7th grade, she goes to Moody Bible college in spokane (spokane is in wasington for the non-geographically inclined) she wants to do mission work & be a lawyer or something i dunno she explained it to me but it just confused me more.

second new thing! I gots a job. I work at Pluckers. they sell chicken wings. like hooters only not skanky. The only manager that the general manager listens to apparently, thinks i'm a did great job. Oh yeah shanna's movin up quick & i didn't even have to sleep with anyone.

not that i'd have sex anyway. Friday night as i was walking to anime club i decided that this whole no vices for shanna thing was a bad idea. i decided over christmas break that i wasn't going to drink anymore or to smoke pot anymore & i have previously decided against sex & smoking. I think generally this was a bad idea. either that or i'm about to hit another low...it feels like it but you can never tell one day you'll be hunky dory the next laying in bed without the will to move to be hyper as fuck the next day. ah damn chemicals in my brain. i'll let you know how it's going...i'll avoid sharp things for the next couple of weeks just in case.

i think the only reason i got this diary was so i could use it as a free therapy session. I think most crazy people (a technical term) like me end up as psychology majors (like me) we don't want to help other people - we want to figure the fuck out what's going on in our minds. case in point....a friend of mine is also a psych major. he happens to be gay & last time i checked being gay wasn't exactly the easiest thing to be born as. (yes born as - i think it's genetic & guess what - i'm christian! don't judge me unless u know me) anyhoo back to my story he's been going to counseling sessions at the SSB - under some ruse as to better understand clinical psych. whatever. oh well he says it's useful & that's all that matters.

methinks i may have written too much so i'll save the other thoughts for later & try to write more often. P.s. my fish died.

~ciao~

before & after