but i'm keeping myself entertained...i blame my dad - whenever i would whine (& i whined) about being bored he'd make some comment about how only stupid people get bored or something. i don't remeber what it was exactly...but it worked. i always got the "finds stuff to do without being told" award in school. back when it mattered. you know - in elementary school.

moving along... i was gonna put some of my more pretentious poetry up here (i.e. the stuff i'm too embarassed to put on my wevsite. but first i want to share the milk jingle i wrote...well at least the lyrics:

Milk
Milk, Milk is good for me
It gives me strong bones and healthy teeth
It's yummy in my tummy
And it's good for my skin
MILK!
x yeah! x
It's a perfect ten...
[x word x if i recall correctly means the word is spoken]

ok now poem:

hmm i just can't bring myself to type it here ... it's *so* bad...so then i flipped through my sketch book & briefly entertained the idea about putting more "when shanna was depressed" poetry but...well to be honest it scares *me* & i wrote it. i don't want to scare anyone else. well maybe ok but this is the mild one. pls don't be scared...i'm so over this now. (author [sarcastic] comments in parentheses)

Watch me cry & watch me die (die=figurative)
fill my soul with pain
slit my throat & watch me bleed
turn my life around ( i did! :) )
spiraling death in a funnel (could i be any more lame?)
wind blowing all my happiness away (woe is me!)
or maybe it's just me(it's called 'tard disease)
stab the dagger
deep inside & twist it all about (i'm not normally a masochist)
I'll thank you later (much, much later)
dancing on my grave(plagiarized from r.l.stine-evil cheerleader books-i was 12!)
i sing a song to you
about why you left
me to die & why
you left me to cry.
but you never were
here at the start.(i had serious abandonment issues)
So I guess it'll be okay
when i die there will be no one to cry
for me. (*sigh* this is awful)
because i'm alone, always alone (i'm just ignoring how whiny i sound)
dying softly inside (stolen from christopher pike)
so softly no one can hear.

my good judgment tells me never to post this but i *have* to. once again ~> i'm no longer depressed & not in the same situation i was in at that point in my life, as i tried to demontrate with sarcasm in side notes. i hope it works. ok so i'm off to bed - only gonna get 5.5 hours of sleep b4 work.

i love you guys. :D heh

before & after