so my roommates got into a big yelling screaming hitting fight yesterday and then made up within 30 minutes of it ending. it was bizarre. then we spent 6 hours in the art building helping michael finish up his art project. i smelled of printing ink, kerosene, and methanol. i came home and showered.

today i did nothing exciting. the end.

so here's the second try at me telling you what i fear most. it will probably suck a whole lot. but anyhoo...
my greatest fear is never falling in love. of growing old and being all shriveled and whithered inside and out because i've never been in love. because i'm so afraid of this i have a hard time distinguishing love from other emotions. i stretch my perceptions of each so that i can convince myself that this time, this time it's love and i can die happy. but it's usually just infatuation or a crush. it's like in my mind i never got over that 13 yr old girl stage. anyway. i'm gonna lay down now and hope my head feels better.

nikolai is tired.

before & after