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09/02/2001| 1:52 pm anxiety sucks i had the worst panic attack of my life on friday night. i actually blacked out. usually i only have these little pussy willow panic attacks - you get the rush of chemicals in the brain, a heart palpitation topped off with a little cold sweat. yeah. so friday i felt the chemical rush...while i was on the phone taking an order. so i asked the guy to hold on while i held on to the counter because i was feeling rather faint. my manager was standing next to me & he asked if i was okay & i remember saying i'm having a panic attack. the next thing i remember is squatting next to the computers hyperventilating then i sort of "wake up" sitting on the floor. i apparently blacked out & fell over. i scared the shit out of several people & got to sit outside for as long as i wanted. i had a small panic attack after that but it never got past the holding on to the counter for dear life stage. i called in sick to work for the second time in my life ever last night. saturday morning before i got home fronm work (2-3 am) some guy got the shit beat out of him PINNED AGAINST OUR DOOR by a large mob of black guys. oh yes i do live in the ghetto. & i was afraid to walk on campus at night. anyhoo now i'm going to rustle up some grub, some cigarettes, & then assemble my bookcase. nikolai HATES panic attacks. |