::SIGH:: <~grandiose mother of all sighs

i *hate* my major with every cell in my body at times like this, but i decided to take it like a real woman & not complain about my pain & hardships & general sufferingness. riiiight & my roommate is the stay-puff marshmallow (wo)man. although though that would be infinitely cool. hey roomie i'm kinda hungry for some mallows. why here ya go humanoid roommate not made of marshmallows. Thanks! ur the best!

wow sometimes i scare myself. maybe i could give myself the Draw-a-person test & rate my neuroses on whether or not my fingers are pointed & my neck is long. too much psychology research in a short time makes one crazy. I vow right now to never ever ever take another psych class that requires a research project.

speaking of vows. i've been thinking a lot lately about my true love waits[1] commitment. why you ask? because everyone i know is getting some action(sex) right now but me. I feel so alienated. they never mention that when you make the vow. i don't necessarily regret the decision i just wish i would have thought about it a little more. it fucks you up man it really does. hey you try & live with almost 20 years of no sexual contact. dammit i'm deprived. i bet if you ask me in 2 weeks i'll tell you i have no desire for sex ever. & so goes the life of an adult that was molested as a child. i think true love waits is the only thing keeping me from being a nasty slut. which could explain why my roommate scored lower on thespark.com's slut test.

wow i'm prolly gonna regret writing this after about 7 hours sleep.

i went to momoko(bubble tea room)with dixon yesterday i had some blue lady tea (yum) & a pork bun (big ass dumpling) that was the actual description the waiter gave me. i swear. (it's funnier if you say it in ur mind with a japanese accent).

erin keeps saying i rock alot in her diary lately. it frightens me.

it makes me think she's guilty. i can see through her evil plans. sure butter me up & then tell me something totally wrong & disgusting like she & chad went at it again in the room (we share a room so u can see why it's disturbing).

only a few more months & i get my own room & bathroom again.

well i guess i should actually do something now like research or walk home to sleep or something. i have till 2 pm tomorrow to finish everything...think i can do it? i'll let you know.

~ciao~

p.s. love & kisses to those of you who like my diary & don't necessarily think i'm insane or that enjoy that i'm insane. whichever. you know who u are. ;)

before & after