first off - life is sucking hardcore right now. i'm in a low. michael's in a low. two people pissed off at the world at the same time = not good. it could be worse but depression just fucks shit up.

on a happy note - i made 150$ in tips last night *dances* this one guy who goes to anime club - his name is chad & he has blue hair - he gave me a 9$ tip. that rocked. a lot. but this one guy at work last night was being such an asshole. i just wanted to hit him. hard. real hard he deserved it. he nearly made me cry but i've lost the ability to cry so instead i was just really sad. & then when i went into work today - there was a different guy there but just as assholeish. grrr. i worked a closing shift last night & then hung out with mir & rob afterwards so i didn't do anything bad like cut. & i didn't get home till 630 am. & then i had to be at work again at 12 because our final house meeting was tonight. well after i got home from work i go upstairs & strip & put pjs on & then erin comes upstairs & she's like did you know the meeting got moved to monday night? well to make a long story short i screamed at the top of my lungs...and i quote: "GODDAMN I HATE THIS HOUSE!" *ahem* so now i think i may just walk up & kick leslie when i see her next for being a bitch & rescheduling the meeting without telling anyone until SUNDAY AFTERNOON. which brings me to my next paragraph~

i have temporarily started smoking. i can't handle it. everything is hitting me at once & it's a temporary solution. i was FURIOUS. 2 cigarettes later i was mellow & happy. quite smelly though. so it's been less than 24 hours & i've smoked 3 mint cigarettes & 2 lucky strikes. oh well. they were like 12 hours apart if that counts. well sort of.like this: 4-6 am ~ 1.5 mints, 1 lucky strike. 1145 am ~ .5 mint 630-7ish pm ~ 1 mint, 1 lucky strike. i stole the lucky strikes from miriam. & well to tell the truth i'm craving another right now...must...resist...temptation...GAH!

ok i have other stuff to do so i will leave you with this.

~ciao~

before & after