i'd have to say one of the most defining moments in my life was when i left private school after the 9th grade to go to public school. i never really had an identity in private school. outcast or freak maybe. private school for me was like that sesame street thing where they sing the "one of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong" song. i hated every moment. public school was very different. even the freaks & losers had a place. i just didn't know where mine was. i had always (almost) followed everything my parents thought & told me blindly. public school taught me that a lot of those things weren't right. it taught me that racism is bad & religion is what you make of it not what is force fed at sunday school or in your living room. biracial kids weren't works of satan. & killing animals for sport...well it makes me cry. being fat isn't the end of the world & emotional & physical abuse is escapable. & self esteem is not something to fake but to actually have. i stopped wearing a lot of my 'masks' after my 3 years in public school. my mom swears that i still have a few but they aren't as extreme anymore. i wasn't completely different after high school though- i'm still bitchy & sarcastic & i still get moody & brood. i'm still very angry. if i could go back to public school & change one thing from the transition i made...it'd be to have tried to get more involved. there are a lot of people out there sent to touch our lives & unless we're proactive we'll miss a lot of those encounters.

before & after