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::Control:: �new �old �profile �note �book �rings �bio �cast ::Celebrity:: �Pocket Bishonen �my alter ego �sacred cave �recommend �82% untelligent ::Previously:: 02/28/2007 - lj 12/07/2005 - moved. 07/20/2003 - legally gay 2 04/12/2003 - be my light in the gloom 04/07/2003 - the best entry i have ever written in my entire life ::Diaries:: �abhorsen �Aeryn42 �annericefan �arkham13 �greschya �justchris �scathing words [john's blog] �larrielou �perceptions �rachelle- �solstice36 �thatkiss �unclaimed �wandering41 �whale-girl 
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::?:: Seeing: Hearing: Saying: ::Links:: �diaryreviews �dland god/des �dreamreviews �fucklist �interview �oddgoogle �poti reviews �quoted �r-e-v-i-e-w �rudereviews ::Inner Demons:: �winsomekitty �misskitty.scathing �new orleans pictures �dirtyshirt dezines �ask-alice �fat.girlie �niku_neko.lj |
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02/14/2002| 10:13 am sigh. my one year diaryland anniversary came and went over a week ago. i have nothing to show for a year's worth of introspection. i spent so much time trying not to be depressed, trying not to cry all the time or just do stupid depressed type things. but i guess it wasn't enough. i built my own little happy ecosystem. i was in control. and then. my illusion fell...i wasn't in control. it was like 50 million years of evolution lost by slashing and burning one measly acre in the rainforest that is shanna. that is a stupid analogy. i am not very happy right now so i am just going to do something else. nikolai despises you all, but you'd never know unless i told you. |