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02/22/2002| 12:04 pm mantequilla WEeeee I wake to the sound of cold hard rain on the window. Thunder rumbles through the air chasing the path of the lightening that turns night into day. Night. The darkness outside embraces the rain that has brought chilling drafts into my home. My skin tightens as the cold air blows on it. Without thinking I reach for you, in the darkness, the cold. I feel the warmth from your naked chest as your heart sends out its hot blood and throw my arm around you as I lay in silence. I can feel your lungs fill with air with every breath you take and I find some small peace in your stillness. How many hours was it that we shared in this bed? How many times did we express the love we found? Almost by accident, as if orchestrated by some higher force unseen, we discovered peace in each other�s eyes. Now it was seemingly too much for me to bear. My soul was heavy with thought. What had I done? Had I forsaken everything I knew, everything I�d promised, for what was not thought to exist. Love. That was what I felt from him the moment I stepped into his presence, like the meeting of two souls lost for so long from each other. Would I be able to find explanation for it? I didn�t know. The greater challenge would be for me to find�create some explanation for my elders. The holders of my faith. It was to them I would eventually answer. Love like ours was forbidden to me. I had pledged faith � I had pledged abstinence as proof of my faith. They would know. Even now as I lay in the darkness listening to the rain, I could sense in me a change that would no doubt be noticeable to Those of Age in the faith. But I guess I should begin my story further back, to when I was a child� |